Saturday, May 22, 2010

sometimes joy is found in ugliness

___Don't worry I'm not going to get too incredibly philosophical here. But I've been going through my facebook pictures in an attempt to put some of my own pictures up here instead of internet produced ones, and I'm beginning to learn some things.
____One of them is that I am insanely unphotogenic about 99% of the time. If I don't think about my smile in a planned sort of way, my eyes crinkle up so much they become mere slits. And somehow my hair does not look the same in pictures as it does when I leave in the morning. My bangs look greasy in half of them and the other half they're not even in place. Clearly me finding the right bangs have been a journey in itself.
___And with the addition of two scars from two infections I had this past year, I also have the added benefit of having those lovely attractions on my face. (Note in all my outfit pictures, I usually blur them out if they're visible)____But I've realized lately that most of the best memories that have been captured on camera so far have had me look completely unattractive. And I've always not shared these memories in posts because of that reason.
____But you know what? Despite me not being beautiful in these pictures (and don't you dare comment about me looking cute. I know how to look cute for the camera, and I know these are highly unattractive snapshots), I can remember how happy and free I felt in them. I can remember what I was doing or what I was laughing about when it was taken. And to me that's more beautiful and more lovely than any posed shot that has had me actually looking pretty. So in this post I've decided to show you all some pictures from the past year or so completely unedited.And in case you were so curious as to why these unattractive moments were so great:
1. Playing on a playground in the rain in Itea, Greece.
2. Playing in the nearby park on a little seesaw that was entirely too small for us!
3. Kissing my sister at my last high school districts for swimming.
4. Pretending to kiss a lovely lion in the Met on a trip to NYC.
5. Hanging out with some of my closest friends near Christmas.
6. First college party with some of my future teammates!

18 comments:

  1. I seriously love this post... it is so real. I agree with you, beauty cannot be measured by mere physical attributes alone. It can be found in the joy that we felt at that certain moment. And you are beautiful even if your hair is all messed-up, with your eyes looking like slits... because I can see beauty coming from the inside. Hope I'm making sense. I know you know what I mean. xoxo

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  2. I know what you mean! I always feel like I look stupid in pictures, but I don't care because it was so much fun! (and you don't look bad, so don't even try to say you aren't cute in the pics ;) )
    http://aclosetfashionista.blogspot.com/
    (thanks for the comment on my blog!)

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  3. Okay so I wont say "Cute" but you are so beautiful! The confidence & happiness definitely shines through and they definitely look like wonderful memories :)

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  4. You may not like the pics, but you are so cute. (ha i said it) you are! For one, you are happy and it shows. That last one especially, you look amazing and i am glad that you shared these with everyone.

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  5. I love the first picture! I really enjoy looking at pics of bloggers in real life. And it definitely looks like you're having fun in teh pictures.

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  6. you know what? I always used to be self conscious about pictures, and never wanted anyone to take them because I always thought I looked terrible. And even though I still get nervous when a camera comes out, I've learned to not really care if I look silly! I post so many silly shots on my blog and it has been fine - in the end you are your own worst critic! but I'm glad you shared these pictures anyway, because yes, you were having fun and that's ALL that matters!

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  7. I think the girls above have said it all! I usually cringe when I look at my old pics too, so rest assured you're not alone! I even looked at my previous blog posts and think to myself why did I ever posted them up?

    Anyways, life is too short to worry of such things! Am I right? You looked happy and that's all that matters:)

    xx

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  8. I truly adore you for this post because I can honestly say that I am incredibly unphotogenic (read...I look like someone else in every.single.picture.); but I think what's important is that you look happy in pictures. And I can't imagine ANYONE looking happier than you do in these photographs - I especially adore the last two!! :)

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  9. future team mates? are you swimming in college? so fantastic! also, have to agree. some of my happiest moments either having me looking ridic on camera/ arent captured at all! what matters is that they happened :)

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  10. This is such a lovely, thoughtful idea for a post - I'm glad I got to read it. I'm really really unphotogenic too, but I love that in these pictures you care more about having fun than looking good! Perfect. And, of course, you do look nice - a smile like that does that to anyone!

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  11. These pics are adorable, darling!

    xoxox,
    CC

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  12. this is a lovely line up honey and the memories must go beyond the images
    xoxo
    marian.

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  13. Now stupid, stupid blogger has swallowed my comment which was like a whole book about that you do not look ugly at all in these pictures, and that we have a tendency to be super critical when it comes to seeing ourselves and that the most important thing is that you are happy in these pictures and that happiness = attractiveness. So, now I said it - again!

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  14. i know what you mean, best memories is always unattractive on camera for me too, jus cuz you're not expecting it! But I think you still look great in these pics! and yeah boo to Lindsay's parents, no wonder Lindsay is so messed!

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  15. I hate being photoed. I never like the way I look in photographs, so I understand what you're saying!

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  16. you're not alone, i hate my pictures in most of my pictures too... my jaws are too prominent and i cringe a lot eventhough i don't intend too :(

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  17. You ARE cute! Haha don't worry, I sometimes go through my facebook pictures and think "whoah, how could I even THINK this was suitable for a profile picture!" I think I have an amazing ability to look INCREDIBLY unattractive in many a picture. (ie, pictures of me scoffing my face or pretending to eat the camera...)

    - Anna Jane xxx
    (PixelatedBlonde.com)

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  18. I think you are beautiful inside and out and everyone has their bad photo moments, what matters is what is your heart! You've got it down. ;)

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