excuse the bitterness

But I'm feeling incredibly, utterly depressed. All I want to do is crawl up into bed and sleep forever until all this goes away. Like this:

Forgive me if I'm being over dramatic. I probably am, and I'll probably look back at this post and laugh at myself, but for right now I feel sadder than I've possibly ever felt.
I found out I couldn't go to the college I've been placing my hopes on forever. The college I visited, interviewed at, stayed overnight, spent hours on my application for. The college I have taken on extra classes, an enormous amount of stress, and a lot of sacrifices for. And it isn't because I was under qualified, no that might have been easier to deal with, apparently they loved me in the admission's office.
No, it's because I can't afford to go there. That whole myth about being able to afford college? That's a big, fat lie. My family isn't poor enough to receive financial aid, but we're aren't rich enough only deal with the aid we do get. How's that for a slap in the face? You spend days like this: school with five AP classes followed by a two-three hour sports practice followed by work til close, not to mention the obscene amount of homework (which usually includes a few sections of Chemistry to read) constantly for what? Nothing.
It's not so much the "Wah poor girl can't go to the college she wants to, boo hoo." But it's more about the fact that there's so much I wanted to get out of high school that I never did because I wanted to get to a college as good as this one. And college was a part of my plan of life. Work hard, go to an incredible college, find amazing work through college, etc. I know, I know, I shouldn't plan like that. The sun will shine again, I just have to cope with the sadness and not let it affect me.
I have an unexpected free day tomorrow with a ton of snow apparently coming. I'm feeling a day full of self-pity ice cream, feel good movies, some reading, and alone time. This will come again:
{weheartit.com}